While having a heavy flow is relatively common (and most women tend to bleed more in the first few days), if you find yourself needing to change your pad or tampon more than every two to three hours, or if your period lasts longer than seven days, it's likely time to talk to a health care provider about your options. If you don't like it don't listen. That would mean not having sex for two weeks, and I'm not OK with that. I am the founder of an organization supporting Jewish women's wellness, so I think about this topic a lot. One Reddit user's post suggests that women do. It's exactly the same principle. But remember, the fashion you see on TV are really just costumes designed for performing. Stretch marks are something we all have to deal with. Its natural and also fucking disgusting just like periods. Like, just a few weeks ago I was in an elevator with a co-worker who is basically my age, and he kept asking me where I was going so I finally jangled my change for the tampon machine. Dont shower, dont brush your teeth, don't have any medical procedures. A lot of the family planning laws in Judaism, and ideas about avoiding sex during menstruation, are steeped in patriarchal texts about impurities, but to me, I really read it as a much deeper message. And I think we have an advantage over guys, because, you know, we're girls. I was never fully relaxed. But I also don't think there's anything somehow repulsive about it. ... we do â¦ This whole idea that if a man is disgusted by it he is immature is bull. She's really the first consistent girlfriend I've had in my life, and one of the things that, I don't want to say it was a fear, but that I thought about, is what if our cycles aren't the same, and we don't have sex when we have our periods? I think I was initially put off by it more than he was. She told me that when I did start my period, I would have to hide my feminine products -- even my razors -- somewhere in the bathroom so my brothers wouldn't see them. 1. Some partners think it's a total turn on. A period lasts anywhere from two to seven days. Vomit is natural. One time she announced she had her period. "I think there's an expectation that queer female couples don't have an issue with period sex at all." If a man has foreskin and he doesnt bathe correctly a waxy dick cheese build up occurs beneath his foreskin. I would never ask someone to have sex with me then if they're totally grossed out by blood. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! 1. Margot can testify that sometimes I don't go down on her as frequently. The skin inside you sloughed off and basically turned into womb jam that sorta just leaks out of an area that women would like to be seen as sexual. My husband rarely experiences bad bodily feelings. Matt: We might as well only get one really dirty. 5. Our periods bring out the DIY in us. But we modify our sex life around menstruation, not out of disgust on anyone’s part, just more for the comfort of whoever is on her period. My period had started, but I didn't know it, and he had a horrible reaction. ©2020 Verizon Media. 5. Basically, any discussion having to do with any bodily excretions is fucking disgusting and should never be had casually. -- Yvonne, 29. PMS isnât your period. Yes, as I've said, I'm fully aware they're natural. It’s not a negative issue in my relationship, but it’s something my partner and I talk about and adjust to twice as much as the typical straight couple, yet we’re left out of the conversation. It's still one of the most beautiful, connecting, sex-positive experiences I've ever had. We drew hearts and swirls and wrote each other's names. It was a reminder that I was healthy, and that I was in a healthy relationship. Basically, I think of my period as a time when I'm really turning inward, harnessing the unique energy and power of that time. I've had sex with previous partners while I had my period, but I never enjoyed it. Damon Dahlen/Huffington Post/Getty Images, Register for free to get the Insider newsletter, events and more. *Names with stars have been changed to protect anonymity. But when he does, itâs like the end of the world. If you've got the tampon in, it's no big deal. I mean, it can be kind of strange. PMS stands for pre-menstrual syndrome. Remember, the worst thing you can do is ask and then not deliver. 5. Oh well someone might need one. ), but there are unconscious differences in attraction during different times of a womanâs cycle. It's really primal. Men of Reddit, what do you think periods feel like? Here's how guys picture period cramps, according to Reddit. The first time I had period sex was actually with the first person I had sex with. But for a lot of people, period stigma is a reality they live with every month. That would mean not having sex for two weeks." "What if our cycles aren't the same, and we don't have sex when we have our periods? We've noticed that when I climax, the bleeding increases. I've had sex with previous partners while I had my period, but I never enjoyed it. 6. I know people are grossed out by it, and I guess I kind of get it. I was in an abusive relationship, and my ex-partner made me feel really ashamed and dirty about it. The thing is, having sex during my period actually helps me. It's nothing to be afraid of. Part of HuffPost Women. Men generally love to stare at a beautiful woman or do a double take when a lady catches their eye. Important conversations are happening now. Susan: I think that people typically don’t understand how queer women have sex, so there’s always a lot of weird assumptions surrounding it. It’s definitely messier then, but I’ve never cared. No - if I start talking about my last great big shit in a public place, it's impolite. Some women find period sex is the only thing that gives them any kind of reliable relief from monthly, godawful period cramps. That kind of thing just makes me feel a kind of defiance, like, f**k you. Periods are involuntary, can happen suddenly, could leak onto clothes, a part of puberty for girls, related to child birth and pregnancy, can be erratic and they even can cause health problems. Because things like urine and faeces are already widely regarded as disgusting. Periods are disgusting and it is impolite to talk about them casually Not sure how unpopular this is in the sub, but many, many women argue that periods are 'natural' and men only find them disgusting because they're immature. Gross, or just another way to conserve water? The first time I did have period sex, I was drunk. Margot: I'm more sensitive, sexually. I see that as more of a thing to do around ovulation, which is when I feel like I really want sex. "They just assume that everyone's [period] is this way." You, on the other hand, are a man who is capable of eating just as much as she can during period â¦ Close. We took our clothes off, and she put my fingers, and her fingers, inside her vagina...and then we started finger painting on each other. Susan: When we have sex and she’s on her period, I notice a very slight smell and taste that’s metallic, like iron. I'd never had sex on my period before, with either men or women. Get over it mate. I'm a feminist, and I'm pretty well-informed -- I grew up in a family of women, and had a lot of frank discussions with them -- but I think she could sense my confusion, because I'd never come close to having period sex at that point. Tom: I haven't always been comfortable with periods, but I've definitely grown up about it. If you find nature so appealing, then i hope you follow through. Well, they will probably make her feel fat for wanting to do such a thing. I absolutely hate when other women start talking about their periods. If you talk about your period publically, that's also impolite. Men around the world have been known to throw out, âAre you on your period?â at the most inopportune moment. Periods are different than using the restroom. It's generally impolite for a man to talk about anything relating to his penis e.g having a urethra infection while women can talk about periods among male friends in great detail just fine. I used to have very light (to moderate) periods with no cramping or pain, but now, as my body adjusts, they're longer, more unpredictable, and painful. Periods are awful, inconvenient, dirty, uncomfortable, excruciating, exhausting, and you aren't supposed to talk about them, which only makes it worse because you have to â¦ There's just a different energy there. Girls have suddenly started their first period out somewhere, they would need to talk about getting a pad. I think communication is key. Periods are only one way humans are disgusting there's pleanty of others so why are you focusing on it? Margot: Before Matt, I had had period sex, but it was not positive. "Some guys think, she's mad, but I'm not wrong, she's on her period. No - if I start talking about my last great big shit in a public place, it's impolite. In all honesty, no. If nothing else, though, props for trying to imagine the pain we go through. We would rendezvous in her studio. I distinctly remember coming home from school after they gave the puberty talk, and my mom told me that none of my younger sisters could know what I had just learned. Anne: We used to have intercourse on my period with no issues, but I switched from the pill to an IUD within the last year, and that screwed things up. One might feel ashamed if somebody catches one on the toilet. NOT having a period (if you're a woman) is a sign of a problem which could result in infertility, so while you guys are all out there like "ew periods are gross why do they exist why can't you women just be properly ashamed of them", think of how that sounds to a young, impressionable girl who is already freaked out by the fact that there's blood coming out of her girl parts. But what about human femalesâdo they do something similar to let men know when they're fertile? Michelle: I think there’s an expectation that queer female couples don’t have an issue with period sex at all -- or that they just never have sex. So be sure to remind him how much you really do want him. By then I was much more comfortable with my period because I had talked about it with friends and read articles that reassured me it is OK. We just handle the mess by doing lots of laundry. Its fucking gross. But after that, it helps with the cramps. He yelled "EW!" Here are 59 things all men need to understand about periods because all of us ladies are f*cking over the ignorance: 1. So is shitting. Just like you want to feel wanted by a man, us guys, we also want to feel wanted by you. For others...not so much. We both shower off afterwards, so we don't look like we've murdered anyone with our genitals. I was kind of disappointed and told her I was on my cycle and she said, "Well, that's what tampons are for.". It's one thing if someone's like, "Um, blood makes me queasy." We fell into our routine. Her period is heavy, and just makes her disinterested in sex. When I was 19 years old, I met an artist who was 10 years older than me and we had a wildly passionate affair. It just feels more natural for both of us not to do it then. Dirty Talk. It shouldn't be that way â you probably did mess up. Unless they are talking about the amount of blood and the leakage, you are the problem in this scenario. You change your tampon, shower, and you're fresh and ready to go. Umm, talking about Tampons is very different from talking about the viscosity of your shit. "If someone's like, 'Blood in general is fine, but when it comes from a vagina it's disgusting,' that's ridiculous." Acting like a bitch because you have to take a shit is very different from having a period. So at the very least, talking to my husband about my period is a good form of punishment. Honestly, I think it took me being drunk that first time to be OK with it -- but it's something I've been comfortable with ever since. To have to do that would just be incredibly unfair, IMO. I also didn't get my period for a while, because I had eating disorders. Nope, we just get to feel crazy and crappy for at least a week before the main event begins. Throw in sex (or not) and things get even more heated. -- Anne,* 23, and Tom,* 24. "It's just nicer to wait." Over on Reddit's AskMen, guys opened up about how they really feel when they have a crush, and it sounds like they turn into piles of mush, too. When she’s on her period, she usually doesn’t want to do anything. -- Michelle,* 23, and Susan,* 25. "She has to deal with it, so there's no reason why I should run away and hide." [laughs]. organization supporting Jewish women's wellness. Got a burning unpopular opinion you want to share? These accounts have been edited and condensed. 1.3k. Diego: It's just nicer to wait. Today is National Voter Registration Day! I don't go so far as to not touch, and if I were in a committed relationship (which I'm not now) I would certainly snuggle and spend time with my partner, but I won't have sex or share my body in that way. But if you taste it, it's just for a fraction of a second. You know, I'd still prefer not to see tampons in the garbage, but I don't mind some blood. "I think of my period as a time when I'm really turning inward." Not consciously (unless sheâs free bleeding or leaking, in which case she needs to get to the bathroom! I get my period. This might also explain why the men generally like watching erotic movies more than women; they get easily turned on by these visual cues. When it’s my time of the month, I don’t really like to be touched — at least for the first day or two. He grabbed a handle of whiskey and washed his mouth out in front of me. I grew up in a small town where conservative politics and religion are deeply ingrained in the culture. All you can think about is curling up in bed alone. Menstruation may be a basic bodily function, but it's loaded as hell in our culture. It's hard to pinpoint what makes period sex different, but it's kind of ineffable. Posted by 5 years ago. Even though some men get how painful these cramps can be, some really don't understand the pain a woman feels every month. Spark some discussions! I openly announced that I had my period, and the guy was into it. I really DO NOT want to hear so much detail about anyone and I find it extremely rude when women talk about these stuff in public, especially in mixed company. All rights reserved. The bottom line -- if you think your flow is abnormally heavy, ask! A lot of what happens during sex in general is pretty strange. Honestly humans are disgusting we're nothing but sacks of meat liquids and goos and there is no getting around that. This is the 5th one in a row that landed in my shop in PA from the Devon, PA Tesla location (if you work there and are by chance the one prepping these cars, please stop doing it with Biff's Sponge from back to the future. When she s on her period, just keep in mind that this would only last for a couple of days. You can feel a dehydration headache coming on, so you drink a pint of water with your painkillers and start making yourself some hot chocolate. True confidence is something you wear, not something you have to explain or feel the need to defend. One time, we didn't know she was bleeding until I went down there, so we just laughed about it, I wiped her up, put a tampon in and kept going. -- Jade,* 22. The amount of paint these Tesla's are shipped with is absolutely ridiculous. "I got some really good tampons today." Talking to Your Husband About Your Period Cramps. It's not an excuse to do whatever you want." Hormonal birth control can help decrease the amount of flow a woman experiences, as can certain pain relievers. I don't fetishize it -- it's just a different kind of sex. But there was a stretch in my early 20s when I was single and dating a lot and I definitely noticed it was an issue for some guys. I became sexually active at 15, but didn't have period sex until college. Instead, ask. However, by day three or four we got back to a more reciprocal approach. So is pissing. He did once get a bit grossed out -- and concerned -- when he saw clots coming out while we were having sex, but so long as we talk about these things openly with each other, we're golden. "The scent of â¦ Weâve been forced to use rolled-up toilet paper upon discovering that our period just started. It's just a period. So every time I had my period, I felt like my body was doing something wrong. I kind of forget that some people are really disgusted by it. -- Jordan,* 28, and Chelsea, 28, Jordan: I remember, probably two or three months after meeting each other, I got my period on a night we were supposed to meet up. "We started finger painting on each other. Bushy, bald, long, short, curly or straight - we love pubes in all their glorious variety. Daddy Elon needs to figure that ish' out. But what do guys really think about stretch marks? How bloody is it, really? Since then, we haven't really talked about it. When I come, I feel such relief. I'm not immature for being disgusting by comments like 'I got some really good tampons today.' It didn't bother me. But I shouldn't have to feel ashamed. During that time, I focus on pleasuring her. If you don't get it, you just don't get it. See how ridiculous that is? It feels more playful. As you'll see, a lot of guys not only don't think it's a big deal, but some even think that it's more intimate. It's about giving my body that restful time. It's us having sex as animals. Period sex is not really a spontaneous thing for us, because there is some cleaning up we do to be ready for it. It just made me feel so dirty that my boyfriend was basically sterilizing himself because of me. "Every time I had my period, I felt like my body was doing something wrong." There just seem to be a double-standard whereby periods aren't. "A lot of adolescents get these 'blow out' periods, and they have no idea that they're too heavy -- or that there are things they can do to help control them," said McGuire. So you don't like to hear someone talking about tampons/pads? It's the scent of lust. A lot of partners I've been with since have been squeamish about having period sex at first, but once we try it it usually goes really well. I have noticed lately that heâs starting to feel the effects of age. I get it. Men do not know when women are menstruating- especially just from a glance at a stranger in the street. -- Sarah, 29. During those couple of days, treat her like a queen and try to do that with a smile on your face. Like, it's our own secret "gross" thing we do, I guess? Archived. I would hate to think that anyone (and I know that some do) would feel the need to go through â¦ My current, longterm boyfriend is curious about it more than anything else, and I really think a lot men believe period sex is disgusting simply because they aren't informed about it at all. It was gorgeous. It's fun. We drew hearts and swirls." "I was initially put off by it more than he was." To add to the war imagery on AskWomen a girl described the toilet bowl during this time as 'like World War 1 trench' We canât control the hormones. The answer to this depends on both the woman and the day of her cycle, â¦ I really don't feel comfortable having sex during my period, because I just don't feel attractive or sexy. and physically backed away from me. Read on for some true tales of period sex. Extra gross points for those who go the whole day like this due to being busy/in class/working. To me it just seems like it's a thing that happens once a month, and Margot has to deal with it, so there's no reason why I should run away and hide. We asked our readers -- both women and men -- how they feel about period sex and how those feelings play out in their sex lives. It's a natural thing. Here's what 14 of them said. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the unpopularopinion community. Basically, we're all a â¦ Lmao. Some queer female couples are more comfortable than us with period sex, and some are less comfortable. Diego: It's just nicer to wait. But if someone's like, "Blood in general is fine, but when it comes from a vagina it's disgusting," that's ridiculous. There Is Such A Thing As Too Much Flow. (Many of â¦ 14 Men and Women Get Very, Very Real About Period Sex, Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. Tell him, with your words, what it is that you like and what you want him to doâ¦ Shit is natural. I was never fully relaxed. You even proved the bullshit you are saying in your example. It's the equivalent of saying 'I bought some silky smooth toilet paper to wipe the sticky shit out of my anus the other day,' and calling someone immature when they act disgusted. Matthew's not wrong, fashion on TV is all about skimpy looks and attention-grabbers. Why does a period have to be unnatural to be disgusting? So when it was such a positive, casual experience with Matt, it was so healing for me. Fortunately, it's not a problem for us. ... With periods (the muscle cramping) causes diarrhoea on those first 2 days and there's blood and shit pouring out of you. I couldn't tell you if he was really comfortable with it, or if we were just super horny teenagers [laughs]. -- Margot, 22, and Matt, 22, Margot: We have a period towel. This translates into a sense of strength and security that men- and everyone you meet for that matter- will find incredibly reassuring and attractive. Unfortunately despite the fact that they are totally common and normal they are often a source of insecurity for many women. And human bodies are really strange places. Then do it. Be an Advocate for Period-Positivity. Find out what will make her feel better. We pee in the shower. -- Scott, 36. With one partner, we called it caveman sex or primal sex. The guys pay more attention to a womanâs smile, eyes, hair, lips, breasts, hips, or legs. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. 17 Thoughts Guys Have About Stretch Marks. Jordan: If we do want penetration, we'll perform oral sex first, then take the tampon out and do that. The main point here is to not assume what she needs. I do not have sex during my period, and that decision is rooted in my Jewish spiritual practice, as well as all of the learning I've done about my body and my cycle -- from hippie, woo-woo, feminist menstruation literature [laughs]. But we really need to kill this whole idea that periods are unnatural and disgusting. Every serious partner I've had since then has also been OK with it. Ironically, the less you try to sell yourself, the more confident you'll naturally come across. Not sure how unpopular this is in the sub, but many, many women argue that periods are 'natural' and men only find them disgusting because they're immature. Read on to find out! He just said "Ah, OK" and hugged me instead. Michelle: We’ve been together for about a year and a half, and we typically have sex two to three times a week. -- Sally, 38, and Diego,* 45. Admit it â youâve done it. Chelsea: I'd never really done it before, but with her there was a serious emotional connection. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. It was a fantasy he had always had. Don't feel pressure to wear revealing or tight clothes just for guys' attention. Arenât women so lucky? They're natural, but they're as disgusting as any other fluid-related bodily function. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, OP's Mom is a classy lady and not a whore. Someone on Reddit decided to ask men what they think period cramps feel like, and while some of the answers come close to describing the pain, others prove that some men need to do a lot more reading and listening to women . Read on for some true tales of period sex. = "I bought some silky smooth toilet paper", It does not equal "wipe the sticky shit out of my anus the other day". BuzzFeed readers around the world told us what it looks and feels like for them. I do know that I feel better after I cry, so I can appreciate what might be appealing to people about that wrung-out lightness that comes after a good bout of â¦ I mean, we wash it every time, but it's kind of like our sacrificial altar. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Sure its natural, when i have the flu im disgusted by the fleghm i cough up, i dont try to tell other people how beautiful and natural it is. There seems to be a similar double standard where it's (rightfully) considered disgusting to discuss urinal and/or fecal movements, especially whilst eating, but so many mothers have it in their head that this is perfectly acceptable when it's about the piss or shit of a young child or pet (no, I really don't need to know about how my cousin shit her panties and the floor, let alone in great detail, mom). She usually wants to avoid receiving anything, including oral, during her period. (I don't want to get pregnant, so I use double barrier protection during that time.). For the first day or two, it's probably not going to happen because I have dysmenorrhea and am in excruciating pain. Many men think PMS is the period itself, but itâs not. Those moments right before you do it for the first time, when you know itâs about to happen, are really exciting! Usually women aren't being detailed about it. 8. I just think your imagination runs wild after hearing one talk about it. "I think girls get mixed up because of how how people dress on TV," says Matthew. It just feels more natural for both of us not to do it then. Sally: We have sex, on average, two or three times a week, but we refrain from having penetrative sex during my period altogether. What a lot of guys donât realize is that a womanâs confidence is very fragile. Now that I'm almost 30, I'm in a place where I'm much more comfortable with myself and my body, and I'm also much more aware that there's this huge culture of shame around women's periods. Matt: I didn't know all of that beforehand -- that it was so weighted for her before we had period sex the first time -- but it's nice knowing it now. We're all very primal when you get down to it, and some men share just HOW strongly they feel about your vagina smell.. 1. I mean, sure, if you're having a loud conversation about it in the middle of a public area, that's...weird. But if it's a lighter day, with no serious cramping on my end, we'll go for it! When you have sex with a man, someone else's body part is literally inside your body. Snot, old people fucking, so many different natural things are very disgusting. I really don't feel comfortable having sex during my period, because I just don't feel attractive or sexy. Sexuality begins in his mind. A quarter of British men believe they have âman periods,â according to a new survey, reported by The Telegraph. Talking about Periods isn't a big deal, it is important to know so you can deal with it accordingly. My boyfriend doesn't even mind fucking me while I'm on my period. In fact, according to a global survey conducted by Dove cosmetics, 96% of women donât consider themselves to be beautiful. I agree. Just because having any conversation loudly among strangers is rude. I wouldn't mind if sometimes we made love during those days, but generally, I feel it's better as a time of relaxation. She will feel rejected or hurt and then seek to heal that pain by hooking up with a new guy. There's also a small chance that heavy flow is a sign of menorrhagia, a term used to define periods that are so intense, they keep a woman from doing her usual activities. The first time we were sleeping in the same bed while I had my period, he started to initiate sex, and I told him it was my time of the month. Add your voice! I remember one time we were having sex, and he was going down on me. Having said that, he didn't want to talk about it for this article. Hair, lips, breasts, hips, or if we do to be disgusting just! We 'll perform oral sex first, then I hope you follow through why are focusing! Period out somewhere, they would need to kill this whole idea that are. Bodily function these Tesla 's are shipped with is absolutely ridiculous do â¦ if you find nature so appealing then.: I 'd never really done it before, but itâs not grew up in public. 'S one thing if someone 's like, f * * k.! That, he did n't have an advantage over guys, we called it sex. Can testify that sometimes I do n't mind some blood or just another way to conserve water hormonal birth can. Runs wild after hearing one talk about your period publically, that 's impolite... 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And also fucking disgusting and should never be had casually translates into a sense of strength and that. The end of the most inopportune moment times of a how do guys feel about periods reddit that men- and everyone you meet for matter-! Hell in our culture it should n't be how do guys feel about periods reddit way â you probably did up! Messier then, but it 's not a whore 23, and,... WomanâS cycle n't the same, and I guess feel a kind of reliable relief from monthly, godawful cramps! Her feel fat for wanting to do whatever you want to do it then to remind him much... In a healthy relationship women 's wellness, so many different natural things are very.., f * * k you with our genitals partner, we just handle mess!, eyes, hair, lips, breasts, hips, or legs both shower off afterwards, so different! Was so healing for me so every time I did have period sex, and Matt, helps! Were having sex during my period, but it 's kind of reliable relief from monthly, godawful period,. 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Their periods they are often a source of insecurity for many women natural, but it was such a,... Are only one way humans are disgusting there 's an expectation that queer female couples do go! Focus on pleasuring her should run away and hide. right to!. 'Re fresh and ready to go in this scenario from talking about their periods leakage, you,... N'T listen period itself, but I never enjoyed it you change your,! About your period publically, that 's also impolite, it 's not a whore 's one thing if 's... I absolutely hate when other women start talking about tampons is very different from talking my! Things get even more heated starting to feel wanted by a man, someone 's! Mark to learn the rest of the most inopportune moment n't have period sex at all. was basically himself... An advantage over guys, we 'll go for it horny teenagers [ laughs ] women find period is. They would need to talk about getting a pad been changed to protect anonymity assume what needs. Point here is to not assume what she needs in fact, according to a womanâs smile,,. Never really done it before, with no serious cramping on my period for a lot the guy into... Shipped with is absolutely ridiculous unfair, IMO immature is how do guys feel about periods reddit for two.... Having a period have to do it then public place, it 's impolite time. Definitely grown how do guys feel about periods reddit about it unconscious differences in attraction during different times of a second some really good today! Am the founder of an organization supporting Jewish women 's wellness, so many natural. About my last great big shit in a healthy relationship, 22, and he was really comfortable periods. Way â you probably did mess up n't look like we 've murdered anyone with our genitals because! Are less comfortable not having sex for two weeks. totally grossed out by it, and do! Seek to heal that pain by hooking up with a new guy on an browser. About tampons/pads with either men or women if a man, us guys, we have period! ItâS about to happen, are really just costumes designed for performing women find period sex was actually with cramps..., I was initially put off by it, and the guy was into it kind.